Building Bridges In Fractured Relationships

What I See

Some observations born from the pain of relational fractures.

Clarity


To make a judgement about a belief or mindset or worldview that does not align with my own does not equal making a judgement about the person who holds the opposing belief. 


I think many people assume judgement when a statement made about a belief collides with the opposite held-belief.

As humans with hearts, generally what we know propels us to action.  Often it’s from a desire for self-preservation. But it’s also from a more noble desire to bless the world, because we know that we are all affected by the choices and actions of others.


We are all persons who’ve arrived at our beliefs through our journey’s experiences and through our learning and through our passions. 


If we understood this—that disagreement doesn’t need to cancel relationships—perhaps our differences in belief would not cause us to cut ties or run away. Instead, we could be curious and caring and even confident that as human beings, we might find bridges of common ground and gateways to deeper friendships. Together then, we might forge new pathways to bring goodness into our fractured world.


When Is It Good To Break Away?


In saying this, I acknowledge that there are certain situations when cutting ties is healthy and necessary. If there is bullying or badgering or manipulation, then make some space. Break away to let both of you get clarity.


Honor freedom, and don’t become a slave.


In such situations, severing ties creates more peace than building bridges on brittle foundations. 


Find Common Ground


The key in building bridges is in seeking to understand another soul’s journey. Find the common ground of desiring what is good and right and true and best for us all. 


Our beliefs might collide, but our souls can merge if we love enough to vulnerably share our own stories and be willing to hear from another.


Also, never put people on pedestals and never look down from one. Both are a grievous sin.


The ground is level at the foot of the cross. And that’s where truth and freedom are found. 


Finally, building bridges requires both courage and trust, both time and attention. If we would mend our fractures, it will cost us. But it will be so worth it.


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