When You Need To Fight The Devil

A drive south from Minnesota to Kansas in March might be mesmerizing, in a grey sort of way.


I needed to intentionally engage my eyes on things other than the road ahead, so they didn’t glaze over. There were a few pretty farms, but mostly grey fields, dirty snow, dead wind turbines, and tar.


As I got closer to Kansas, flocks of birds — large flocks — traveling overhead in the opposite direction. Flock after flock. I could see huge congregations of winged critters darting around off in the distance, like some kind of bird’s Black Friday madness, as if there were too many of them to get into formation.


Their confusion reflected the activity within my own soul.

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Two weeks ago, I spoke at the Set Apart Conference. My message delivery was based on a difficult story from my life, it went well (I didn’t cry in the telling)– the Holy Spirit moved, and women asked me to repeat the truth I brought:


"Our bodies are subject to our emotions, our emotions are derived from our thoughts, and we are told to take our thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ. When we do so, we can heal."

I had them repeat after me the lesson the Lord taught me:

“I may be emotionally weak, I might feel physically weak, but I am spiritually strong.” 

As a whole though, the conference left me with a heart-heaviness from the cancer stories of both of the Keynote speakers, Liz Curtis Higgs and Lysa TerKeurst — additionally, Lysa’s story of the battle for her marriage was emotionally weighty.


Though their stories were full of faith and hope, I left feeling weary.


It may be partly due to the fact that when my kids were little — a bad epidemic of lice hit our community causing my friend to shave her head in order to rid her home of them. I had pleaded with the Lord for NO LICE, terrified of ever having to be without my hair. I’m grateful, the Lord heard my prayer. 


Liz Curtis Higgs, at the end of her message on Saturday, was led to remove her wig, revealing her raw-self to us. She walked baldly and boldly – and beautifully . . . humbly – off the stage. And it kind of wrecked me. The young woman next to me wrapped her arms around me and I sobbed.


Though Liz and Lysa are both funny and faith-filled women, the weight of their pain found a parking place in my heart.

Less than a week later, after going over the messages for the following weekend retreat, I drove the three and a half hours to Iowa to bless women of all ages at a beautiful Lakeshore Center on Lake Okoboji.


I enjoyed conversations with many of these beautiful women between my sessions. And fell in love with God’s family all the more. (Blessed to have my mom, aunt, and three cousins join us in the lower photo) 


After delivering my three messages:

“Come” an invitation to salvation:
“Jesus invites me to leave my life of sin, and be tied to Him.”
“Grow” an exhortation to fill up and overflow His living word:

“Drink the Living Water and you will be Giving Water.”
“Go, Light Your World” an encouragement to:

“Be the Light . . . Buck your fear.”
“Step into where He calls you, and He is there, and in His presence is fullness of joy.”

After the retreat wrapped up, I had the above-mentioned five and a half hour drive to Kansas on Saturday afternoon.

I hadn’t been to Kansas where Dale is working since January. Instead, he’d flown home two weekends in February. Two weekends that turned out to be consumed with snow shoveling at home, hardwood floor installation at our boy’s house, and a floor redo in our own basement.


*Whirl & Spin* That’s what life has been.


On Sunday night I had a hard time sleeping after receiving four major prayer requests. One was for our grandson who was running a high fever. I also had a bad dream in which I was being scolded by the retreat hostess. (Not the actual lovely person who hosted me, but someone I didn’t recognize.)


On Monday, as I sat in my morning chair, the weight of these burdens was like a hundred pound barbell sitting on my shoulders. I knew the enemy was aiming to discourage me. And I knew I had to fight.


So I stood.


I raised my arms and lifted my face to Heaven.


I stood to spite the burdens, and I opened my lips to oppose the heavy thoughts.


I spoke faith-filled words into the atmosphere of our little townhouse. Praise and thanksgiving came out from my lips, along with declaration of God’s promises that are true. After a time of praising Him for His goodness, the burdens took flight like the birds moving North overhead.

Flocks of them, soaring away to their place of rest, leaving me at rest in His presence once again.


I’m no longer a slave to fear. I am a child of God.
He split the sea so I could walk right through it. He drown my fears in perfect love.
He rescued me so I could stand and sing: I am a child of God!

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